Things not to do in band bios, edition one

Posted on April 5, 2010

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This will be an ongoing blog series, whenever I read an exceptionally stupid or cringe-worthy band bio. I mean, all band bios are kind of stupid, including mine, which I change every five minutes in a vain attempt to make it not stupid, but some just go above and beyond. I am starting to think that Forest Fire is really onto something by officially having no bio. Anyone who writes about them actually has to write about them instead of just copy/pasting a pile of overzealous adjectives that the band dashed off in five minutes. I will not name the bands in question, even though a few public shamings might do the music world some good.

“Full of sloppy and casually exuberant post-punk grooves, comparable to [More Famous Band] but not so psychedelic or contrived…”

Aside from the usual band bio adjectival ugliness (I think “casually exuberant” is a really obtuse way to say “we have a lot of energy but we don’t really know how to play our instruments”) and vague genre namedropping, the thing that makes this worthy of TNTDIBB is that the band does the usual unwarranted-comparison-to-famous-and-endlessly-more-interesting-band thing, and then immediately INSULTS the (superior) band they just compared themselves to. Kudos, my friends. That takes some balls.

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